Monday, August 31, 2009

Crocs Need to Stop

Today, as my father and I were walking graciously into Kohl's department store, I noticed an unusual lady exiting. She was wearing a bright yellow shirt (as if that wasn't bad enough) and those stupid little "Croc" sandals to match. The Crocs were bright yellow as well. She matched Crocs with her shirt; I couldn't believe my eyes, and I was almost blinded. She looked so stupid. I mean, Crocs are dumb enough in the first place, but to go out of your way to buy some to match with your outfit? Come on! The sad thing is, this isn't the first encounter I have had with a matching-Croc-person. At Disneyland, my happiness was interrupted when I saw a guy wearing turquoise Crocs, and the same color t-shirt. Wow. Just wow. The funnier thing was that the girl with him was wearing turquoise-rimmed sunglasses that matched his outfit perfectly (it added to his stupid look). I have heard that Crocs are "so comfortable" and "so cheap," but that is no excuse to wear them; they make anybody wearing them look like a fool. I don't care who you are, comfort isn't worth looking THAT bad in public. They are made of the cheapest plastic shaped into a shoe with holes in it. Even Jesus sandals (or power sandals, tourist sandals, etc. (thats another post)) don't look as bad. I mean, even if the most gorgeous woman in the world was wearing Crocs, I would be concerned. Some people say, "Oh, I don't care what people think" or "I don't care what I look like to others." Well, you better start caring, because you look like a big idiot with them on, especially if you go out of your way to match them with your outfit. So stop it.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Internet Dependency

Oh man. Today, around 8 o'clock I was trying to post my blog and my internet was out! UGH! It was so annoying, and I felt so lost. That led me to a new post topic- the general population's dependency on internet. It's funny to think that a little more than 10 years ago the internet and "surfing the web" was a far-out fantasy idea that seemed too good to be true. Now, we just can't get enough. People are constantly on Facebook, checking email, Twittering, playing games, downloading music and watching pointless funny videos on YouTube. Don't get me wrong, all those things are great (except Twitter, lolha) ; it is awesome to think that a seemingly endless wealth of knowledge is a couple clicks away. However, it is funny to notice what happens when it goes out, like I said before. People have gotten so dependent on the internet that if it doesn't work, they go berserk, like lost puppies wandering the wilderness. Think about it: if you had to go without internet for a week (in your normal everyday life) would you be able to do it? It would be tough, huh? Heck, my little brother's laptop was broken (no interwebs) for a few weeks and he about died of boredom. Kinda sad in my opinion, but fun to watch. But thanks for taking the time to read my blog ON THE INTERNET ;)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Twit Twit Twitter

Doubtless you have all heard of Twitter- not quite a blog, but not a real networking site either. To me, it seems like a website network dedicated to only posting "Facebook statuses." Apparently, it is an internet sensation and all the celebrities have a Twitter account so you can follow what they are doing 24 / 7. It'll send text messages to your phone so you are constantly updated. Come on, people. As if celebrity magazines, like People and Star, and all the other hundreds of t.v. shows, articles and websites don't give people enough celebrity news, here comes Twitter. Now you can know exactly when your favorite stars are pooping on the toilet, taking out the trash or eating breakfast. It's just stupid. I think people need to get their own lives, instead of caring about celebrities so much; they aren't that big of a deal. And do you really think the celebrities are operating their own Twitter? I mean, some, maybe even a lot of them do, but I seriously think a secretary is hired to make up the stuff they're doing for them. I guess what I'm trying to say is more of a question about society: why does the general population feel important by scrutinizing every single detail about a celebrity's life? Do people feel semi-celebrity if they know all about the latest Branjelina or JLo gossip? I hope not. Twitter is just the example of how it has gone too far- make it stop.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Concert Tickets

Hey everyone. So I just thought I would send out some words of wisdom that I have learned lately. I regret to say that I learned the hard way. Okay, so about concerts: they are so much fun! You've probably been to some with your friends and had a great time. However, I want to talk about buying the concert tickets. Just a word of advice: NEVER BUY AN ODD NUMBER OF TICKETS. It will ruin your life. I made the mistake of buying too many tickets to a concert (so I would have to sell them), but bought a total of three. Big mistake. I should have just bought four because it's really easy to get an extra friend to go to a concert if needed. I mean, come on, they are awesome. An odd number makes it so tough to sell them; near impossible. I would have had them sold months ago if I had bought either two or four, but no, I decided to buy three. I am so stupid. So, just don't make the same mistake I did; you will hate yourself for it.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Crazy Drivers

Okay so this will probably be a recurring theme amongst my posts- people that just plain suck at driving. My friends were telling me some stories today, and they were pretty outrageous, and usually involved people talking on cell phones. Which brings me to a point: stop talking on cell phones and driving!!! It's illegal people, and usually the ones who do it are so dumb that they can't drive and talk at the same time. I mean, it's not that tough to drive in the first place, and neither is talking on the cell phone. I am amazed at how incompetent people get when you put the two together. I can drive and talk on the phone perfectly safely, and so can a bunch of my friends, but the majority of people can't I suppose. It's just sad that they had to institute a law in California about it. I am of the opinion that if you are a good driver, it doesn't matter if you are on your phone or not. Texting on the other hand, is totally a different story. That is dangerous, but I digress. Just watch out for fools and big idiots who can't drive; you're bound to see them everyday of your life. And if you ever see somebody swerving in their lane, or coming to a complete stop at a GREEN light, chances are they are on their cell phone.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Live Like It's Your Last

So nothing really important happened in my life today; I pretty much just hung around my house, which reminded me of the saying, "Live every day like it is your last." Well, sometimes that's just not possible. Or maybe it is, but people plan their lives out like they have a lot of time. If today was my last day, that would suck. I mean, you're supposed to go out with a bang, right? Have a super-awesome last day and all that? Well, I hope so. But think about it, if people actually lived by the saying "Live every day like it is your last" it would be hilarious. Nobody would work at their jobs, because hey, who wants to work on your last day of living? And besides, what good is money for the future going to do for you when you won't be able to spend it? Think about it, what would you do? I have no clue what I would do. I probably wouldn't do anything. Just like today.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Phobia of the Week

So, I heard of new phobia today, and I have to say that is both ridiculous and understandable at the same time, if that makes sense. Let me explain. First off, it is called: Caligynephobia, the FEAR OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. Haha. At first, it seems totally outlandish, but if you think about it, it is quite normal-ish. I mean, beautiful women are scary, I'm not going to lie to you people. They can get whatever they want with a smile, whether it be an open door, a free drink or some money. If the smile doesn't work, I'm almost 100% sure they can get ANYTHING they want if they show a boob. I'm sure a lot of guys out there can understand, if you see a beautiful girl at a party or anywhere, you pretty much assume she can get whatever she wants. The sad thing is, you probably wouldn't mind doing anything she asks. Beautiful girls have a power over guys that is super-human; I'm not surprised that a beautiful women committee hasn't banded together to take over the world yet, because I'm pretty sure they could do it. Which brings me to another reason: pretty girls are rarely thought to be guilty of anything because "how could a beautiful girl do something wrong?" People tend to be surprised if a hot girl is found guilty of a crime, and that is scary. So watch out for all those scary and gorgeous girls out there, and don't make fun of those timid guys, because there is a clinical reason for them to be scared (sadly). Side effects of beautiful women are drooling, daydreaming, staring, fantasizing, heart-attack and bladder failure.

Monday, August 24, 2009

500 Days of Summer

I would like to do a movie review on (500) Days of Summer for my blog today. I went and saw it the other day, and I gotta say, it was amazing! There were so many different aspects of this movie that I liked. First of all, it isn't a cliche love story or romantic comedy. You know that upfront, but still, it isn't a lame fantasy movie. Similarly, it is totally plausible, and seems very realistic. One reason I believe that is because if you combine the experiences I've had with two girls in MY life, it is basically this movie. So funny. It is the movie all nice guys can relate to, as well as those still searching for the right person. Also, (500) Days of Summer is a very funny movie, with quirky characters and funny lines. Another cool thing about the movie is the way it is filmed. They have a unique style that is obvious, and even pull off a very tough split-screen scene. And lastly, I like how the story isn't completely linear, it jumps around from day to day, not all in order; it is a very cool effect. So basically, I highly recommend it, because even the soundtrack is awesome. I definitely want to see it again.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Bubble Gum

Today I would like to discuss a preposterous little thing called, "Bubble Gum Flavored Bubble Gum." To me, it seems VERY redundant. And besides, isn't gum its own flavor anyway? (I understand there are many varieties. As an avid gum chewer, I am well-versed in flavors like spearmint, peppermint, watermelon, cinnamon, etc.) I guess I just find it hilarious that so many other flavors of gum have taken over the world that they need to name one "Bubble Gum." However, any type of gum you buy is technically "bubble gum" flavored, so maybe they should just call it "Original" instead. That would make way more sense. You just can't have gum flavored gum, because all gum is gum flavored, in a manner of speaking. Chew on that for a while.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Push-Up Guy

Okay so I went to a Mexican food restaurant today (yum) and witnessed something very unusual. The particular restaurant was located in the middle of a shopping center. Anyway, when exiting the restaurant with our delicious food, we saw a man wearing tight beige shorts, sandals and a baseball cap. This guy thought it would be a good idea to perform some push-ups against the wall, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE STORES. I don't know what his deal was, because I definitely didn't notice any pretty ladies around he might be trying to impress (like an Anchorman type thing). Maybe he wanted to bulk up a bit right before his date arrived to eat at the fancy Dairy Queen right next door, I don't know. At least he wasn't fat, but that would have been funnier. But seriously, dude, who does push-ups in the middle of a shopping center at dinner time?

Friday, August 21, 2009


Okay since I talked about the horrible, disgusting 'blister' yesterday, I thought I would discuss the thing that makes every boo boo better- the band aid! I swear that there must be a secret ingredient to these things, because they seriously make all the pain go away. Just look at little kids. If they have a huge scrape on their knee they cry, cry, cry... until they get a band-aid. Once that band-aid is slapped on, they magically feel better, and the crying stops. This is a shout-out to band-aids (and kisses) because they just banish the boo boos. And nobody likes a boo boo.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Ugh! Blisters

Blisters. They hurt so bad!!! I currently have one on my thumb and one on my foot, and it is so bothersome. However, it is so satisfying to pop them. I feel like the almighty conquerer when that needle is removed from my skin, along with a flowing river of pain, puss and pressure. What a relief it is, most of the time, but it can go wrong. I think I've popped the one on my thumb 5 times, but each time it fills up with more puss- what the heck! I mean, it's not an inflatable balloon on my thumb, it's a blister. It's supposed to go away when I pop it. In the end, though, I do have to admire the blister's tenacity to blister me.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Useless Protective Covers

You have all seen them, you may use them and they are all around you. I am talking about protective covers; the ones that many people use for just about everything from iPods to cars. In some instances, they can be very helpful and necessary (like condoms), but most of the time they are just useless. I mean, the point is to keep your item clean, but if you never get to see it, then what is the point? Some people get a certain pride from over-protecting their things that is just overrated, and the sad thing is that most of these things don't need to be protected. For example: those 'car diapers' that cover the hood and front bumper of some sports cars. Sure, they keep your car from getting dirty in that particular spot, but you never get to see the actual car that's underneath; if you are never going to see it, how can you tell / care if it is getting dirty? The same thing goes for seat covers. These are even more ridiculous. Seats are made to withstand dirt and thousands of butts, so protecting them is unnecessary. Also, as you may know, many electronic devices come with protective plastic packaging when you buy them. To be honest, I left the plastic covering on my iPod for about 2 years, so the screen wouldn't get scratched. However, when I finally peeled it off, I felt so liberated and free, it was unbelievable. It was like I got a brand-new iPod, and revealed a new layer of myself at the same time. A layer that says "no" to the petty protecting of purposeless things. Just stop it.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Vespas..... Oh Please.

People in Vespas are just so cool. Especially the ones with a porn mustache and a business suit. Good job with the helmet too, dude- baby blue with a few stickers and a chin strap; it just sets the tone. I think it would be funny if someone in a Vespa had a bumper sticker that said, "My other car is a ...... car." They should just drive cars like everybody else. Or at the very least man-up and get a motorcycle. Not to be a conformist or anything, but just so they don't look so ridiculous cruising down the street. I mean, sitting with your feet on a little platform in front of you, feeling the wind in your golden locks is cool and all, but get your act together. No matter how badass you feel you are by saving money and "helping the environment," it doesn't make up for the fact that you look like a fool. Vespas are just kids amongst men of the road; it seems as though they'll get gobbled up by an SUV at any turn. So get off the road with that childish scooter of yours and play with your dolls instead.

Monday, August 17, 2009

The "At" Symbol

Okay, so I'm pretty sure all of you are familiar with the "at" symbol. You know, the one: @. If you don't know about it, you must be a pretty sheltered person, and probably wouldn't be on the internet. Anyways, I fell like it is an unnecessary short-hand version for the word "at." I mean, is "at" so tough to either type or write out that we need to abbreviate it? It's just an A with a spiral around it, and it takes the same amount of effort to do the spiral around the A than just put a T after it. And besides, what does @ have to do with "at" ? I have no idea. Seriously, if we wanted to be practical, it should stand for "around" instead of "at". Just look at the symbol, it makes sense. A little spiral AROUND the A.... duh! And "around" is a much longer word than "at" (3 times longer actually), and much worthy of an abbreviating symbol. Please people. Who thought of this craziness?

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Mosh Pits and Concerts

Hey so I went to a concert about a month ago, and it was pretty awesome. However, while I was there, I thought about the concept of 'mosh pits' and what they really are. Anyways, here is a perspective someone might have on the subject:
I've realized that mosh pits are stupid; a motley assortment of anguished individuals dancing and flopping around madly to the beat. I was crammed between sweaty, stinky drunk people like a sardine, all the while pushing and shoving to maintain balance. I was under constant assault, as shoes, hats, beer and people flew through the air. A potpourri of cigarettes, weed, alcohol, puke and B.O. engulfed the crowd; I swear I must have second-hand smoked at least 7 packs of cigarettes.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Lincoln Blogs / The Maiden Blog

So I just figured out this whole "creating a blog" thing, finally. There are so many options out there it's crazy. To start out, I would like to discuss the word "blog". First of all, it just sounds plain ugly, like blah. Maybe it's synonymous with blah blah blah, because people just blah and blab all day long on their blogs. I wonder what it stands for? (if anything). What if famous people of history had blogs? Abraham Lincoln might have had one like: I hate the damn theater. However, my wife insists that I go, in order to relieve some of the stress from this terrible Civil War that has plagued our great nation. It will probably turn out to be a dreadful bore. I will accompany her regardless, and tell you all about it tomorrow...
As you may have guessed, that would have been his last one.