Notebooks

It's fun to look back at my notebook at all the notes I've taken over the quarter. Like Shannon said, it always starts off good; my notebook looks like it belongs to the best student in the world the first couple weeks. I have multi-colors, neat writing and even notes from reading the book chapters. But by the end it is a sad story. Some lectures would be missing. Some would have two bullets. I stopped reading and taking notes from the book. But one thing is for sure: my pages progressively become more messy and abundant with random things that are of no educational value whatsoever. My favorite is to look back on lectures that had sloppy, kindergarten handwriting because I had fallen asleep and my hand was too weak to write after I woke up. Good times.

Dicky V

Will Dick Vitale please shut the hell up. Seriously, he's so old we should be calling him a diaper dandy.

Mustache Girl

Asha and I rode the bus to chemistry this morning at 7:00 am (gross I know). Anyways, we were groggily sitting next to each other near the back door, trying to wake up. Mind you, there were PLENTY of open seats scattered about the bus. At one stop, "mustache girl" gets on (this girl in our bio discussion who's Asian and has a mustache and is very annoying and awkward). Instead of finding a seat like a normal human being, mustache girl decides to stand right by Asha and I, not because she wanted to talk to us, but for some reason unbeknownst to us. She just stood there the entire ride (with open seats everywhere), and at one point decided to apply some weird prescribed facial cream to her face; maybe it was mustache wax.

Bus Seating Chart

I've noticed something interesting on the bus, which can also be seen in the classroom or anywhere where people are forced to sit down in a large area of seats. I've noticed that people seem to refrain from sitting next to each other unless they are forced to by a lack of available spaces. While sitting on the bus, I watched as people filed in and took seats one-by-one, but were careful to not sit right next to another person (they would sit at least one seat apart). It's as if it would be awkward if someone decided to sit next to someone else while other seats were available. Girls would especially think a guy was hitting on them or being creepy. Friendliness is out-dated I suppose. It was not until all of the extra spaces were filled did somebody decide to sit next to me. I thought it was interesting, or maybe I just smelled bad or something.

Candy Corn

It's Halloween time, and that means its time to break out the candy corn. Yay candy corn. Seriously though, I get tired of eating it after 3 of them or so. It's almost like I forget that I don't really like them. I would like to know when the last time candy corn was manufactured though, because it could have been made in the stone age and still taste the same. There isn't really an expiration date, so how do you know when it's bad? I think the flavor they make it in is called: Stale. Because other than that, it just tastes like sugar.

Juxtaposition

So what's with the word "juxtaposition"? I can't stand it. It's just one big, unnecessary word that essentially means the same thing as comparison. In my writing class last quarter, I swear it was used at least five times a day, as if the kids in that class wanted to sound all smart and stuff. "If you look at the juxtaposition between these characters...." UGH! I hated it. Just because you're in college doesn't mean you should go around using fancy words that sound stupid. Personally, I don't even think it made them sound smarter, because smarter people use words that can be understood and related to - otherwise people would never know they are smart; it just would sound like mumbo-jumbo (which is a cool phrase b.t. dubs). So, to sum it all up, I think 'juxtaposition' is an unnecessary english word that is proof that we have way too many words. It is definitely one that shouldn't be used, I mean, just say, "if we compare" or "the comparison between." It is exactly the same thing and doesn't sound as lame.

Grapes

Eating grapes is sometimes the biggest gamble of your life. Out of an entire bunch, there might be only a few good ones. However, it can be really difficult to notice until after you have bitten into the delectable little purple (or green) thing. I personally prefer crunchy grapes that are NOT squishy at all. Haven't really asked around, but I hope nobody likes those soggy death grapes that make you feel like you are chewing on a piece of moldy wet cardboard. I get so freaked out when I pop a grape into my mouth, bite down, and realize that it is a soggy one. I think I'll get mold poisoning or something. Grapes can be dangerous; don't swallow one too fast. However, they are absolutely perfect for tossing into the air and catching (or attempting to catch) in your mouth. They are even great to toss them to a friend, or throw at a friend, or put in a fruit salad (cuz they're a fruit) and even tacos (so I've heard). That's all I have to say about that.

Extra Ketchup

Don't you hate it when you're eating chicken nuggets (or something similar that requires ketchup) and you get down to the last couple and run out of ketchup? It's so annoying. You are then faced with quite the dilemma: do I get more ketchup for the last nugget and a half, or tough it out "sans ketchup"? You know in your heart that if you get more ketchup you will likely get too much, and waste a substantial amount. However, if you don't get more ketchup, the remaining chicken nuggets will be extra dry and make you feel like your mouth is crossing the Sahara Desert in the summertime. (okay maybe not that bad, but you get my point). Ultimately, the decision is up to you. Choose wisely.

Ja Hot Tub

Jacuzzis (otherwise known as a hot tub) are so much fun. I think the best time for them is when it is cloudy outside. It is just a perfect mix of cool and warm. Just awesome. I also find it very interesting to go in the hot tub while it is raining; that is an even wackier experience: you are in hot water, but getting pelted with cold water. Just awesome. Hot tubs are even perfect for when you are exhausted after a hard day of work, or a tough work-out or sporting game. It literally melts the stress and pain off of you (and probably even evaporates it - that's how you send your troubles to god). Maybe that's what jacuzzis really are: a subconscious method of prayer. God invented them as a way to evaporate your troubles so they rise up to him and he takes care of it. But when he is fed up with your whining, well, that is what rain is. So you really gain nothing to be in a jacuzzi while it's raining. Feels good though.

Chairs

It's really not fair for a chair to break when you sit down on it. You rely on it for support, but it just buckles under the pressure. On top of that, everyone around you thinks you are really fat, because who else would cause a perfectly good chair to break? Maybe it was just that chair's time to go. It's life was a mess, and it fell apart. You can try duct tape, you can try glue, but there really isn't anything you can do. Once a chair breaks, it is broken, and broken it will stay. As a way to get back at the chair for the humiliation it caused you (when you broke it by trying to sit down) you could chop it up into pieces and feed it to the fire; that'll show it a lesson that will be burned onto it's memory forever. If a chair has a nightmare, do you think that the lumberjack is its worst enemy? I bet they hate Paul Bunyan. Oh well. Moral of the story: don't be so fat that you sit down on a chair and break it; it will cause you embarrassment.

Cut the Bagel

Man, I hate it when I cut a bagel unevenly. It has to be one of the worst things in the world. I get all excited to eat a scrumptious bagel, bust out the knife, and then before you know it, look down to see two "halves" that are utterly pathetic. One is like 1 cm thick while the other is like 3 inches. Way to go, Kyle. It pretty much ruins the entire bagel-eating experience. I try to put the halves in the toaster, but the fatter one won't fit because I cut it so poorly, and the skinnier one gets burnt to a crisp. They probably invented it already, but it would be so cool if there was an automatic bagel slicer that cuts them perfectly in half. That way, I wouldn't have to suffer the humiliation of failing. And practice doesn't make perfect, because I have cut hundreds of bagels, but am still susceptible to the occasional mis-cut. It is likely that, or I am stupid. Either way, I feel like an idiot each time I don't cut the bagel right.

Taco Springer

Taco Bell is so good. Today I missed the bus leaving school; it literally drove away when I was in sight of it. It was so sad. However, there happened to be a Taco Bell (an on-campus one) right there. So, instead of waiting 20 minutes for the next bus, I waited in line- at Taco Bell. It almost made me forget I missed the bus (until I started writing this blog). Either way, I was glad I did miss the bus. On a separate note, Jerry Springer is a great show. Seriously. I watched it for the first time today, and I gotta tell ya, I haven't seen that much white trash in the dumpster behind a paper factory. People on that show are so wack. Examples: One guy got in a fight with his girlfriend over cigarettes so he ended up sleeping with his gf's sister. Both girls were ugly and fat. Another guy lived out of his hippy van with his girlfriend, making money with a dog grooming business. He got mad cuz his girlfriends brother kept slashing his tires (not wanting them to be together). The list goes on and on and on... So, if you ever want to feel better about yourself, eat Taco Bell and watch Jerry Springer.

RainbowSkittles

Today I had some random thoughts about rainbows in my biology class. I don't know how it came about or why, but I thought it was funny. So even if you don't think this is funny, I did, and that's all that matters I guess. (kinda selfish but whatever). Okay, so I was wondering if a rainbow were to eat a bag of Skittles, would it be considered cannibalism? What would it taste like to them? I mean, unless a rainbow has eaten another rainbow, they couldn't really validate the advertisement that says if you eat some Skittles you are "tasting the rainbow." And on another note, do you think that rainbows get offended by that advertisement? Like, maybe they see it as an attack on them, like all people should just start eating rainbows instead of following them to a pot of gold. Maybe it was a subconscious plan of the Skittles corporation to secretly get rainbows eaten away from the earth... It would be cool if it rained Skittles though (until you got hit in the head with one). Maybe that is the revenge of the rainbow.

Rain Rain.

Oh man it rained so hard today. Seriously. It was like pouring pigs and noodles, cats and dogs, rocks and boulders on my head all day. Wind blowing in sideways, upways, downways and diagonal ways. Craziness. I almost drowned standing outside waiting for the bus (for like 20 minutes bt dubs). Luckily I have spent the majority of the day inside, but then again, that is rather unlucky. It was raining so hard that all I had to do was check Facebook; everybody's status commented on the rather unruly weather. I mean, it's kinda sad when the weathermen say that there is a 100% chance of rain. I wanted them to be wrong so badly- just because they said that there was no way it wouldn't rain. But then again, there were TOTALLY right. It rained ever since I woke up at 7am. Kinda sad. Rain rain blow away. Forever.

Banana Split

I just wanna give props to whoever it was way back in time that invented the banana split. They were an amazing person. This is for the guy who said that ice cream, chocolate sauce and whipped cream weren't good enough alone, and needed one more item. And there was no other perfect item than the banana. There is something about the entire mixture that makes it heaven on your taste buds. It's just chocolatey, vanilla banana creamy goodness. Yum. On a side note, bananas seem to taste way better when mixed with ice cream (same goes for milk - bananas in milk is delish). So again, I would like to extend a warm welcome of thanks and congratulations to Mr. Split (or whatever his name is) for inventing this delicious dessert of awesomeness. It is so good it has probably stopped wars from breaking out. Seriously.

Sauce and Shirts

Today I ate some slices of pizza while wearing a plain white t-shirt. Guess what happened... NOTHING! That's right- nothing. For once in my life I didn't get sauce on my white shirt. That doesn't just go for pizza; it goes for about everything, doesn't it? Somehow, if you wear a white shirt, the food you are eating (or attempting to eat) seems to be magnetized to the shirt, and nothing can stop it. Spaghetti has to be the worst; those saucy noodles flipping and flopping dreaded tomato stain throughout the air. Those Italians and their messy food- I'll bet that if you had a clean bib after dinner in Italy you would be considered a god of manners. But if you avoid the sauce spill, it will catch up with you. I'm sure that some sort of stain will find my shirt before too long, since I avoided the pizza sauce. It's like a "Final Destination" sort of thing.

Toy Story

So I got to go see Toy Story 1 & 2 in 3D today! I basically forgot how awesome those movies are. And if you thought they were awesome before, you should see them in "Real D" or 3D. It makes you feel as if you are a toy in Andy's box of toys. I felt a deep connection with Woody, and his plight of selfishness. The funny thing about those movies is all the little comments and lines that go over kids heads. One line that I noticed (that was previously unrecognized by me) was a parody of Forrest Gump. It was in Toy Story 2, and Slinky Dog says, "I may not be a smart dog, but I know what road kill is." For those of you that don't know, it's a parody of when Forrest says, "I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is." I thought it was pretty cool. There were a few other lines, like Woody calling Buzz: Buzz Light Beer or Buzz Light Snack. I love how Pixar / Disney movies can get away with stuff like that. That's why they are the perfect family movies; everyone can enjoy them.

Frogger

So I just noticed that the website "Blogger" reminds me of Frogger, the classic street smart frog that usually gets squished crossing the street (unless you are good). He would work so hard to make it past the traffic (with cars going every which way with no lane divider- definitely not city regulations) to see some lily pads and logs. But for some odd reason, if he fell in the water, he would die. I mean, come on, Frogger is a FROG. Last I checked, frogs can swim. Heck, I am pretty damn sure they spend the majority of their lives in the stuff. Maybe if it were shark / pirana infested waters I could understand, but not a plain old river. And if you think about it, Frogger must have been pretty freakin' hungry to do all that work and risk his three lives for a fly.

9/11 Truth Kid

So I saw the "9/11 Truth Now" kid again today. He whizzed by me on his bike, with his familiar sign and swagger that just screams idiot. For those of you that don't know, he is a kid who bikes around campus with a giant sign sticking from his backpack that says, "9/11 Truth Now" as if it was a giant conspiracy. Yeah dude, the United States would destroy two of its most symbolic buildings in its most popular city, killing thousands of people and tearing apart people's lives just to make the public think about terrorism. I got news for him: terrorism is real, you dope. I'll bet the flyers he passes out say, "George Bush is dumb, down with government" or something like that. I mean, really? I could maybe understand it if this was a year or two after it happened, but it has been almost ten years; get over it, man. Not that we should forget it, we shouldn't. But there is no way it was a conspiracy. Purposefully damaging the image of your own country is not a conspiracy, it's stupid. I mean, come on, we are the United States, we don't need a reason to invade / declare war on a country- we just do it.

Liquid Nitrogen

Apparently just about everyone is fascinated by liquid nitrogen (or "dry ice" as it is commonly called). On the first day of school, two out of my four professors used it for a demonstration. I mean, it does look really cool once it has been poured onto the floor, sliding around without getting anything wet until it evaporates. And sticking something like a flower into it for a few seconds, then shattering it on the floor is awesome too. I guess it is also cool to see the water vapor rising from it, and putting some of it in a cauldron to make it look like you are brewing a nasty witches potion to turn someone into a newt. Funny thing is, I set out to prove that liquid nitrogen really isn't as cool as people think, but I changed my mind. It's awesome; I wish I had some right now.

Perfect Day

Perfect weather is the best way to lift your spirits (or mine anyways). When I was coming back from class today, around 12:30 pm, it was literally perfect outside: not too hot, not too cold, with a slight breeze and clear blue skies. It's the kind of weather you could wear jeans and a t-shirt and be comfortable, or wear shorts and a t-shirt. Basically, it was perfect. Kinda makes me wonder why I'm inside right now typing this blog instead of enjoying the fresh air... Anyways, perfect weather like that makes me so happy, along with being somewhere in the "wild" climbing a tree or hiking some trail in the woods. It is the simple things in life I guess, and people just need to slow down to enjoy them. There are few other things in life that give such pure enjoyment and happiness as a forest, river, mountain or clear blue sky. No amount of electronic device or book can ever compare. I wish people appreciated it more, rather than tearing it down to build a parking lot or freeway. I know the day will come (hopefully not in my lifetime) when forests are gone, and I pray to God that people realize it before it's too late.

Banana Freeze

Okay so I learned the hard way that you should never put bananas in the freezer. Ever. Under no circumstances. I thought I was being all safe and conservative and smart by putting them in the freezer (to save for later so they wouldn't get rotten). Little did I know that putting bananas in there speeds up the process by ten fold. Seriously, after only a few hours in the freeze, the banana peels were dark brown, and the inside frozen. Gross. After letting them thaw on the counter (which was another mistake) the inside was all mushy and liquidy. Disgusting. Basically, I had to throw them away. I wasted a bunch of bananas.

Pimp Stride

A picture is worth a thousand words... usually. This one, from Love Fest, is worth like a million. It's so epic, and I call it "Pimp Stride."

Wal Mart

Today I made my first trip to a Wal-Mart Supercenter. It was a sad day, but I had to do my grocery shopping. The whole time I was in there I could just imagine a future where Wal-Mart was the only store that existed. I mean, sure they have cheap prices (NOT the cheapest) but I don't agree they should take over the world. However, the people who are super anti Wal-Mart need to shut up. It isn't THAT bad. Some people just go too over-the-top with all of it. But think about it this way, without Wal-Mart, where would all the weird people flock to?

Learning.

Right now in class I'm learning about learning; I even have to write an essay about it. In fact, I'm writing this blog (procrastinating) instead. But back to the learning. How messed up is that? Learning about how to learn? In college? I mean, maybe in like middle school or high school it would be okay, but college? I mean, honestly, if you don't know how to learn by now you are screwed. Plus, you probably wouldn't be at a university anyways, you would be at home baking cookies with your mom (yum). The funniest part is that this assignment isn't even for a psychology class or something that might make sense- it's for a biology class. What does biology have to do with learning? Nothing, that's what. This is college- don't waste my time with crap about how I can learn better when more than half of the people there got straight A's through high school. Seriously, lady (my professor's a woman), you are preaching to the wrong choir. Sorry if that sounded mean and rant-y but it had to be said... I do like learning. Just not about learning. That is a paradoxical paradigm of perpetual poop-headed-ness. I don't even know what that means, but maybe I'll learn about it.

School Is

School is great. Because. Okay seriously, I'm trying to convince a friend of mine with this post, and honestly, I don't think it will work, but here goes... School is awesome, despite what many people (coughJaclyncough) might think. I mean, yeah it can be a minor inconvenience to read books you wouldn't normally or be forced to actually see what the inside of a library looks like, but in the end, you are better for it. An obvious reason (before I get to the learning part) is the people you meet everyday, especially in college. You meet SO MANY people in college, and they all have a major influence on your life whether you realize it or not. You make new best friends, follow trends and just go with the flow. That is the best part, and the reason why all the 'old people' say that college is the best years of your life- because of the friendships you make and the good times you had. Nobody remembers the reading they had to do, the countless hours of worrying, the midterms they had to study for or the fact that they had to take final exams on their birthday. Instead they remember hanging out with the people they care about, going places and the enjoying the fun times between all the work. And besides, the work isn't all that bad. I mean, sure, half of what we learn is inapplicable to our career or our lives and we forget most of it after the test, but we paid money for that knowledge (a LOT of money) and we want to see some results. So enjoy the good times in school when you don't actually have a real job / career and are in a place where all your friends are easily accessible. Because after college, it's just not the same environment, whether you wear an alumni sweater or not.

Unicycle Kid

So basically, the coolest kid on campus at UC Davis is unicycle kid. He just rides a giant unicycle around campus from class to class. Seriously, I think it takes a lot of guts to ride around on a unicycle (I'd be scared to try it), especially in the crowded streets of Davis during the mad rush between classes. I doubt he ever crashed; he looks that cool / confident / good. I bet that if somebody ran into him (he never runs into anyone, THEY run into him) he would do some sort of super flip and land either back on his unicycle or on his feet- kind of like a Matrix thing; he probably knows kung fu. Anyways, I've seen him around quite a bit, even last year, cruising around on his one-wheeler wearing his sunglasses. He holds his seat (cuz he has to) almost like he's riding a bucking bronco in a rodeo show, but he never falls. So I would like to dedicate this post as an homage to unicycle kid- may he keep on rolling.

Missing the Bus

Oh man, it is such a depressing sight to see the bus you need to take drive away right in front of your eyes. That happened to me today... twice. Missing the bus can throw off your whole schedule, luckily, it didn't affect me too much. However, I'm sure that many a person's lives have been ruined because they missed the bus. There are sadder things, but seriously, seeing the bus slowly (buses are sooooo slow) inch out of sight is kind of insulting; it is too far away to catch, but close enough to make you feel bad. You know that if you had made it to the stop one measly minute earlier your entire life would be different. Instead of standing disappointed at the bus stop, you would be happily seated on a bus en route to the destination of your desire. If you really think about it, making the bus (or not) could have the opportunity to really alter your life. The people you meet (or could have met) is just one example. And I really don't think the back of the bus is that bad of a place to sit, but that's a topic for another day.

Cheesecake Factory

Yesterday we went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner, and I gotta say, it is fantastic. I was actually surprised at how many people were there, and what an interesting crowd it was. I was amazed by the guy with the neon shirt (what an excellent way to dress up for dinner). The food was so good; I believe I was as full as I've ever been- couldn't even finish my sandwich (pathetic an unmanly I know). Oh well, it was good. But back to the crowd: there were people of all walks of life at the Cheesecake Factory. There was a two year old doorman (not employed, just a little kid holding the door for fun), a party of fat people and people of every race imaginable. It was so crazy. I never thought it was such a happening place, but apparently I was wrong. Oh, and wouldn't you know it- they sold cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory; who'd a thunk it???

Segway Kid

So far at school I've seen some pretty ridiculous things (I will tell about them in posts to come) and here's one of them. Everyone knows that Davis is a bike town; there are practically thousands of bikes around the campus and city. So it is definitely no surprise to see thousands of kids biking around campus to get to their classes. On one such occasion, I was enjoying a pleasant day under a tree (watching for potential bike crashes at a traffic circle) when I noticed something extremely unusual. Amid the sea of bikes, I saw a kid on a Segway zoom by. He had a cool air about him, as if he had ridden a Segway hundreds of times. He probably had, and most likely used it to get from one side of his mansion to the other. Seriously, who rides a Segway from class to class? This kid must be too good to pedal, because bikes aren't that hard to ride. Or maybe he was never taught to ride a bike and was instead shown how to ride a Segway ever since he was a tiny infant. I wonder how many times he fell off before he got it right. Either way, the Segway is a bit excessive. It's cool (and makes everybody jealous every time his whizzes by) but excessive.

Cool Back Pack

Today I saw one of the coolest backpacks ever. It is so cool that it isn't sold in stores; it belonged to a kid in my physics class, whom I was able to befriend. It was made from a cylindrical plastic bucket (with lid) and covered in stickers and writing. You know those several gallon buckets that can hold baseballs or cleaning water or whatever... Anyways, he cut the bucket in half and put a back on it, and made it so the lid was semi-attached to the main part. So, essentially, his backpack was half of a bucket with straps. He had all his notebooks in there, as well as other school supplies. To me, it makes perfect sense because you know for a fact that any roughhousing or carelessness or tossing wouldn't damage his supplies inside. (I've never typed roughhousing before. lol). It was definitely one-of-a-kind and he didn't copy it from anybody, I asked him.

Fresh Losers

First day of school- yet another day of ridiculous freshmen. My chemistry class was PACKED full of people; there were more than 500 people there. It is mostly a freshman class, which makes it fun. And since it was the first day, the wee little freshmen got to ask their precious little questions. *Sidenote* My Professor is Dr. E and he makes a lot of jokes (he's very very good) and says things to get a laugh that normal professors wouldn't. Anyways, back to the questions. It was sad to find out that some freshmen didn't get his jokes. For example: Dr. E joked that he would take attendance (but sounded serious); later, some kid asked, "Are you really going to take attendance?" REALLY DUDE!?! I mean, how on Earth would a professor take attendance in a class of over 500 people? That kid was clearly a 'n00b' freshman because, hello, lectures aren't mandatory- especially one like chemistry. But the idiocy didn't stop there. Somebody asked what P.T.A. number stood for (permission to add). That doesn't sound so bad, but it was, because the kid asked that question RIGHT AFTER Dr. E said what it was. I even heard some girls behind me discuss the spelling of the word: syllabus. Ugh! I hope I wasn't that loserish last year, but maybe I was.

Chem test / Freshmen

Yesterday Asha and I took the Chemistry Placement test. It wasn't too hard of a test (we think we passed) but some funny things happened before the test even started. First, we were directed to a lecture hall to sit down. By the way, since we were about to take a placement test, the majority of kids in the lecture hall were freshmen (it was so easy to tell). While Asha and I were sitting and waiting for the test to begin, we started talking. We discussed our apartment, taking the bus, and other such things that, to the eavesdropper, would make it apparent that we were not a freshman. Luckily for me, I noticed that the girl sitting next to Asha (who was totally a freshman) was listening in on us, and had a look of respect / admiration for us, strictly because she could tell we weren't new to the Davis. I could be imagining it, but I swear it's true. However, that was just the beginning... Once the test proctor began speaking and telling us how to fill out the scantron was when the true freshman idiocy showed up. Examples: One guy asked, "Um... you said registration card... does that mean our student I.D.?" YES!!! you crazy person! My gosh! But here's the best one: One girl said, "I accidentally wrote my name upside down on the scantron, is that okay?" WHAT?!! I couldn't believe it. Asha and I both laughed. I mean, seriously, how did people like that get into Davis? Oh well. Basically my point is: freshmen are hilarious.

Book Editions

I would like to point out how completely stupid all of these textbook "editions" are. I mean, some of the books I had to buy for school (like my music book) are in the 10th edition or more! That is just unnecessary and ridiculous. Instead of letting human networking do its magic (like buying books off of Amazon, eBay, Craigslist, asking people to borrow, etc) we have to buy our own brand new book that we will only use for a couple months. And how many times can you rewrite the same book? It has got to be one of the dumbest ploys to get more money I have ever heard of. It works, but it is stupid. Half the time, the new edition is worse than the previous ones because they had to change things to get it re-published. I can understand a couple editions every several years, but 10?!! - come on people. As if tuition, rent, food and fun weren't expensive enough for college kids, authors have to go around making new book editions so we have to buy them brand new every quarter. Lame. The worst is when the professor is using a book they wrote for the class; those usually are re-written / re-published every two weeks. Haha, not really, but it seems like it.

Virtual Haircut

Yesterday I was shown one of the most amazing things ever. It was a YouTube video, but unlike one I have ever seen before. Part of the reason- you didn't "watch" this video, you listened to the sounds. Let me explain: The video is called "Virtual Haircut" and the only way to properly watch it is with headphones (preferably the good stereo ones). The video itself is essentially a blank screen, but the sounds mess with your head. Basically, the way the sound is set up, it seems like you are really in a barbershop, about to get a haircut. The audio is time delayed in each ear, so your brain is trying to locate the sound, but when you look around you there is nothing there. It was so weird. The sounds go in and out, and all around your head, as you feel somebody is in the room with you giving you a haircut. It is tough to describe the awesomeness of this phenomenon, so I can only urge you to go out and try it yourself. I was like a giddy little school boy I thought it was so cool.

The Name Tag

It's so fun to mess with people. I mean, in a nice friendly way. Example: Yesterday a bunch of my friends and I went to visit Courtney on campus (because she's an R.A.). While we were hanging out in front of the building, it was obvious to notice a bunch of freshmen milling about, since they just moved in. Sidenote: for some reason not being a freshman anymore makes you feel like "all that and a bag of chips" a.k.a. awesome. So we were talking there in front of the building and a freshman guy walked by us. He had a name tag on, so I decided to have a little fun with it. As he walked by us I said, "Hi, Kevin Young." It caught him completely by surprise. He wondered how I knew his name, and I said I'm psychic or something. However, David was in the background pointing to his own chest, and Kevin Young finally realized that he still had a name tag on. It was great. Everybody had a good laugh about it, then continued on their day.

Epic Fly Kill

Yesterday David and I had the most epic of fly killings. All of our apartment residents were cooking a community dinner in the kitchen (yum) when we noticed some black buzzing dots circling about our aroma-filled apartment. They were pretty good sized flies, and we would just not allow that sort of thing near our food, obviously. So, David and I went on a fly hunt. However, since we are poor, starving (well, until we ate our dinner I guess) college students, we did not have a fly swatter; we had to use our hands. So there we were, clapping about the kitchen and living room, trying desperately to decease this fly. After several failed attempts, the fly flew between Dave and I, and it would be the last mistake that fly would make. We both (simultaneously) clapped at the fly and BOTH HIT IT. The buzzing stopped, and it fell to the ground, dead. It was amazing; so amazing, in fact, that the song "Superstition" was playing in the background. It wasn't like we both went for it and one of us got it- somehow our hands overlapped and we both hit it. Awesome. The only thing better would have been if we were high-fiving and a fly flew in the middle of our high five; it was that cool.

Fixing Bikes

I never thought bikes could be so much maintenance. Seriously. Since last year I have had a flat front tire on my bike and refused / was too lazy to fix it because the air leaked out so slowly. Well, now we have a ton of free time since school hasn't started yet, so I decided to fix it. I pulled out the tube, found the hole (after much scrutinizing) and patched it. Although I thought (hoped) I was done, I definitely was not. To my dismay, my bike tire was flat the next day- the patch failed. I tell myself that there were more holes (instead of me just failing the patch job). So, a few days later I went and bought a new bike tube, and now it works! So exciting. But my story is nothing compared to Kenny; he has had so many bike problems. According to him, he had zero problems last year, but I guess his bike's mileage is way up there now or something. He had to patch a tube (failed), bought a new one and fixed it, but the spokes broke. Geez. So he had to send his wheel into the bike shop for new spokes. We hope that's the last of his bike failures, but in the back of our minds we get the feeling that he's not done by a long shot. "When in Davis", I guess.

Soda POP!

Yesterday we looked in our mini fridge and found an unexpected spectacle. There was syrupy brownness all over, and some even dripped onto the carpet. The source of the problem: a can of Pepsi had exploded. That's right- exploded. The mouth of one can was turned up, and dismantled as if it had been thrown on the concrete. After further investigation, we discovered the reason the can exploded: the fridge was too cold. Way too cold. It was almost like a freezer I guess, because it froze the cans of soda in there. We were lucky that only one exploded. However, when feeling the other cans we noticed they were all rock-solid. In a frenzied mad rush of panic to avoid any other explosions, we hurried the cans to the counter to defrost. (actually we removed them in normal fashion in no rush whatsoever). Anyways, we cleaned up the mess and the day was saved. Luckily, we remembered to turn up the refrigerator temperature so this sticky situation would not happen again.

Monty Python & Holy Grail

Monty Python and the Holy Grail is such a classic funny movie. A bunch of us watched it yesterday (I've lost count how many times I've seen it) and it was still hilarious. "Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government." Ahaha. From the black knight who declares "It's only a flesh wound" or the peasant who said, "She turned me into a newt....... I got better", that movie is straight-up awesome. I mean, where else can you learn so much about swallows? (African and European). I never even knew that, logically, if a girl weighs as much as a duck then she's made of wood, and therefore, a witch! I could go on and on forever quoting this movie, and well, that would be okay because it would continue to be funny. Just about everyone has seen Monty Python, so quoting it is applicable in many different social situations; if you remember a classic funny line and apply it at the right moment you will get many a laugh. But if you want to achieve true greatness, learn the obscure quotes that aren't so prominent- quotes by Roger the Shrubber or Zoot the temptress. And if you want to learn the best way to insult somebody, take notes from the crazy french guy.

Bug Bites!

Bug bites are so annoying! I never thought such a small assailant could make me hurt so much. And with bugs, it is never one-and-done (in terms of bites). Instead you get like 50 of them. Last night there was mosquito in my apartment that was causing havoc. Apparently it bit me about 7 times while I was hanging around the living room. I actually saw it land on my arm and sink its little nose thingy in. Gross. I tried to slap it, but missed and spent the rest of the evening paranoid at every little feeling on my skin or hair. I also tried to hunt it, but it avoided me every time. Damn mosquito. If you think about it, it is really gross to wake up in the morning covered in bites, because you know that bugs were crawling all over you while you were sleeping. The worst is spider bites: you see those two little hole surrounded by a mound of red itch, and just know there isn't anything you can do about it. And that anti-itch cream never really works, at least for me. I guess the only retribution we get from bug bites is the fact that we can end a bug's life instead of making it itch for a day. Humans win. (if we don't get malaria or yellow fever).

Concert T-Shirt Guy

Man it would suck to work at a concert. Well, in some departments. The little aisle security guy in front has it made in the shade, but the t-shirt vendor people have it bad. It must be so stressful. It must also suck to be one of the search people who feel you up before you go in to make sure you don't have anything you shouldn't. (My friend had to throw away an umbrella). Somehow people manage to get things in, and if something went wrong it would be all your fault. Anyways, back to the t-shirt vendor people. While I was in line for a t-shirt, I realized how annoying it would be to work there. A mass of people squeezing in together to get a shirt with no definitive line or order whatsoever. Terrible chaos. The guy working closest to me was getting annoyed- almost everyone would go up to him with no idea what they wanted exactly, pointing at like 10 shirts saying, "That one." When he would bring them the shirt some of them would hold it up, say 'nevermind' and leave. Wow people. He yelled at us to make a line, and well, he tried to be nice but he was dealing with a bunch of idiots. When it was my turn I went up to him, said exactly what I wanted (mentioning size and color of shirt so he knew what ones), gave him EXACT change, said thank-you, and left with my merchandise. I swear I must have made his day as his best customer.

Mouse Tail

Yesterday I went to the UC Davis football game and saw a very weird and interesting person. A few rows ahead of me was standing an Asian guy (typical) with a shaved head. Something wasn't right, though. For some reason, a patch of hair on the back of his head was about 3 inches long. It was like he had a goatee... on the the wrong side! I have no idea why he would choose such an absurd style of hair. Maybe that part of his head got colder than the rest. Maybe he couldn't grow a real goatee so he took what he could get. Maybe the barber missed a spot. Maybe his hair grew faster in that spot. There are many plausible reasons, but we figured the most likely one was: he was in the beginning stages of growing a "rat tail" style hair. It's like a lame mullet (not that mullets are cool). However, his hair wasn't long enough yet, so it was a baby rat tail- a mouse tail. The highlight of the night (while observing this guy) was when he stroked his mouse tail, twirling it between his fingers in a playful manner.

Peanut Buttery Greatness

There's nothing quite like the smell, taste and appearance of a fresh, brand-new jar of peanut butter. Something about it's perfectly flat and unbroken surface right after the seal is removed just screams excellence and tastiness. I almost don't want to disturb it; maybe just let it bask in its glory for eternity. But I am hungry. Scooping a finger into the perfect sea of silky smooth awesomeness is a bittersweet moment. I enjoy the undisturbed peanut buttery taste, but am sad to disrupt its calm. In a way I feel I am stealing its innocence because, after that, it just gets more disheveled and ragtag. Nobody cares about peanut butter after it has already been used, they just slop it on toast or a sandwich without a second thought. But if it is a new jar, it takes on an entirely new persona. A persona of awesomeness, as just about everyone is in awe of its perfect beauty. In this world of hate and wrong, new peanut butter is a metaphor to the world; every new jar is perfect until it becomes corrupt by people. Once it is disturbed, there is no going back, and it is a tragedy to witness.

Flyers

I never thought I would become a "putting up flyers guy" but it happened. It is kinda depressing, but I guess desperate times call for desperate measures (unless they're socialist, lol). Anyways, I have been in quite a predicament for some time, trying to sell some extra concert tickets. It seems as if I tried just about everything to sell them, but... no dice. So I resorted to- yep you guessed it- putting up flyers. I rode around downtown Davis and posted flyers all around on telephone poles and electric boxes. Now I know what it feels like to be one of those people and that's not a good thing. Putting up flyers is so 'old school' and well, weird. I doubt they will work, but hey, at least my phone number is posted around random parts of town. So, I guess when you can't sell anything to your friends, your friends' friends, your relatives, anyone on eBay or Craigslist, it is time to put up flyers. Hooray.

Comcast Guy

It is really interesting to meet people and find out their life story. In other words, a lot of people have done interesting things in their lives that you may never guess. For example, today I was talking with the Comcast guy, Daniel. We first talked about how the internet guy no-showed, but that eventually led to a conversation on what he used to do. He told us he was in the Navy for 10 years stationed in San Diego, then went to Hawaii and then the Philippines. It was very interesting, and I never would have guessed. He said he just does his Comcast job for fun a few hours a day because he is retired, and gets a check from the Navy each month. Anyways, it is really cool to listen to what people have done in their lives. Another quick example is a guy I went golfing with. He was probably in his 60's or so. After talking, we found out his brother almost went to the Olympics, but broke his foot. So, it just goes to show that you never know what people have experienced in their lives, and it is very cool to listen and find out.

Goodwill Experience

So something really interesting happened to me yesterday. My dad, grandpa and I went to the Goodwill store to get some things for my apartment. At the front of the store we saw some frying pans and put one in our cart. It wasn't used, and there were a few more left on the shelf. Anyways, we went about our shopping, adding things here and there that we thought would be useful. At one point, we left our cart unattended near an aisle (while we were a few feet away looking on some of the shelves for stuff). When we came back to our cart, to our surprise, the frying pan was missing. Gone. We looked around, wondering if we had the right cart or where we could have misplaced the pan. The only logical conclusion was that somebody in Goodwill came by and took our frying pan out of the cart. We couldn't believe it. I mean, it wasn't a great frying pan (it was good) but there were definitely some left in the store. And who goes around taking a frying pan out of someone else's cart in Goodwill, of all places? Maybe if it was a valuable game or novelty item and I had the last one in the cart, it would be acceptable. But a frying pan? Come on, man (or woman). It was ridiculous. If you go around stealing things out of carts at Goodwill, I am pretty sure your life has sunk to a new low .

Texting Habits

Have you ever noticed how there are just some people who seem to send text messages in such an annoying way? Well, certain people have texting habits that are straight-up unhealthy and dumb. First off: the "hip text lingo guy." Seriously dude, stop it. They text like this: Hey dde wasup wit u. Ill b l8 4 din 2nite but b4 u go 2 bed..." and all that crap. It's ridiculous, so just stop it. They invented T-9 Word (predictive text) for a reason. The other person, which I hate most, is the person who texts you just saying, "Hey." That's all they say. They only text "hey." I'm not gonna respond to that. If you want to talk to me, then think of something more creative to say, or just call me at least. Which brings me to another point- texting should be limited. It has gotten way out of hand and people should just call each other more. Stop hiding behind emotionless text messages because you're afraid of talking to a real person. Another person is the texter who uses exactly correct grammar. It's not annoying, but just funny. You don't need to take THAT MUCH time with it. Usually, it is the new texters (or parents) that use this method. Anyways, the last person on my list is the texter that always have to have the last word. You say goodbye, they say bye. You say see you later, they say okay, etc. No matter what you do, this person has to text last. It's kinda sad; I think they are clinging onto every text message they can get. So watch out for these annoying texters, and please don't be one of them.

Church Yesterday

So my church is definitely going down hill. Down a steep hill. Very fast. It used to be a good church with a powerful message to help you be a better person and lead a better life, but now it is just a show. One indicator is that my church bought out and renovated an old movie theatre. Another could be the fact that the people there clap ALL THE TIME. They clap after every song, always, as if it was a concert instead of worship. Sometimes they won't shut up, and it usually comes back to that 'one-guy' who decided to start the clap. However, it is funny sometimes when he tries to start a clap and only a few people join in- fail! Haha. Anyways, so aside from the big band, stage setting and clapping something very interesting happened yesterday. First off, my pastor has suddenly come into the habit of entertaining the crowd rather than preaching. He tells wild stories and jokes that vaguely relate to the message at best. Yesterday's topic was about finding God's treasure in your life or something cheesy like that. You know what they did? They showed a video clip of Pirates of the Caribbean, and then our pastor came on stage wearing full-blown pirate gear and talking like a buccaneer. You know- "Aar Matey" and "scallywag" and all that. He had a giant hat with a huge feather, a bright red coat and a hook in one hand. It was funny, but come on man, this is church. I'm not saying it has to be uptight, but seriously, it has become a show instead of a place to better yourself. And the show isn't that good either.

Baby Voices

I'm sure most of you have heard people speak in their "baby voices" when an infant is around. If not, then you are extremely lucky. People's baby voices are straight-up ridiculous, and are embarrassing to witness. I just feel sorry for them, and the baby; I'm sure the baby doesn't want to be spoken to like that. Everyone knows that kids always want to feel grown up and adults want to be kids- it's ironic, but I digress. Back to baby voices. Yesterday at a family party I was forced to witness and endure one of the worst baby voices on the face of the planet. This aunt of mine thought she was amusing a little baby (like 1 year old) by speaking in an outrageous cutesy baby voice. I was trying to eat, and almost threw up. It wasn't like a one time thing either, she went on and on for at least 10 minutes talking to this baby who just stared back at her with droopy cheeks. But that wasn't the worst part. My aunt decided to sing the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song to the baby, in her baby voice, about 20 times in a row. OH MY GOD! It was brutal. The funniest thing was that her baby voice carried over to her normal conversation for a few minutes when an adult asked her a question. I wish you could have been there to witness it, but then again, you probably wouldn't have wanted to be there. Almost everybody uses this alternate voice and it is really funny to notice. And it's not just with babies- it mostly occurs with animals (especially dogs). People just need to stop embarrassing themselves like that, but it is a prime target if you are looking for someone to make fun of. So the next time you see somebody asking their chihuahua in their purse what kind of dog biscuit they would like best because "they are the bestest cutest most precious little puppy in the world, yes they are" - go ahead and laugh out loud as you walk by. Maybe even tell your friends.

Movie Experience

Yesterday my friends and I decided to go see the movie "Extract" with Jason Bateman and Mila Kunis. I had one of the typical terrible experiences before the movie even started. Here it goes. First of all, the movie cost $5.50 because I had a coupon. However, I only had $3 in cash, so the other $2.50 was in quarters (not much compared to the times I paid $9 for a movie in quarters. lol). Anyways, so we walk up to the ticket booths and there is a small line. I get in one line and my friends get in the other. Wouldn't you know, their line moved faster. I didn't switch because I was fidgeting with my quarters, trying to get them all in order. So they both paid and had their tickets, and there I was stuck in line behind some old lady. I saw the other ticket window was open (nobody in line) and when I was about to go over there, some guy rushed in ahead of me. Typical. So there I was still stuck behind the lady. Of course, she took forever to get her ticket (for Extract too, actually). So FINALLY I get up to the window and say, "One for Extract, please" as I hand her my coupon. Then she asks for my I.D.! Oh my gosh, that just was the icing on the cake. Both my friends didn't get asked for their I.D.'s and there I was, forced to fumble through my wallet to prove that I was old enough to see the movie. I mean, come on, you only have to be 17 to see R rated movies, and I am 19. I don't look that young; it was so bothersome. Maybe if I was a girl it would be flattering. So I showed her my I.D. and handed her the money. I was glad it was quarters, but deep inside, wished I payed with pennies just to make her suffer. That annoying little prick.

Soreness

Being sore sucks. You don't really realize how much you use a certain muscle until it's sore. Do you ever feel like if you stretch it too fast you will tear your muscle apart? I hope that isn't possible. In a way, being sore helps you appreciate your muscles during their healthy state. Take your abs for example. If your abs are sore, just about any activity you try to do will be marred with a bit of painful sting. Funny thing is, whenever you're sore in a particular area, it always seems that you need to use that muscle. No matter what. Same thing goes for when you get a cut or bruise or some other injury. Let's say you get a blister on your hand somewhere- everything you touch seems to poke the blister, doesn't it? It's like the world's cruel joke: if you are hurt somewhere, the world makes sure to pain you in that spot. By that justification, we should all poke fun at sore losers. They are sore (at losing) so it is only right that we make it worse for them, right?

The Donut Man

Okay so here's a funny little story from my life. So, after church on Sundays my family got into the habit of going to a little donut shop, called RB Donuts. We would go every Sunday. The shop was run by an Asian couple who could speak English, but had pretty heavy accents. Anyways, since we would go so often, the man would recognize my brothers and me. We would usually order the same donut: I would get a maple bar, Tyler would get a chocolate twist and Derek would get a strawberry cruller. Well, after a few weeks, the Donut Man (Asian shop owner) began remembering our orders. On a couple occasions, we would just walk in the shop and he would put our usual donuts into a bag for us. It was funny. We would change it up a few times (my brothers mostly) but I usually got a maple bar. Eventually, the Donut Man began calling me "Maple Bar." That was my name. When I went away to college my brothers went to the donut shop without me and Donut Man would ask where "Maple Bar" was. My brothers would explain that I was in college. During breaks when I was home, he would immediately recognize me and grab a maple bar for me. So that is our relationship: Donut Man and Maple Bar. Yesterday I saw Donut Man in a department store- it was so weird. He didn't have a maple bar to give me. It was sad, but then again, it wasn't Sunday.

Run-In With "Woo Girls"

Alright so last night my family and I went to Bucca di Beppo (or something like that) which is a family style Italian restaurant. It is very unique and has tons of pictures on the wall of random people. Most of them are in black and white. I noticed something funny about those photos: they contained a lot of fat people. I'm not trying to be mean, but I was scared that their food would make me fat or something. Why else would they have a bunch of really fat people on the wall? It was creepy. There was also a photo of some nuns frolicking in the water at a beach (with all their nun gear on). It was pretty funny. Anyways, we sat near a room that apparently contained a large party of people (like 50) and from what I could gather, they were hosting some kind of going away party or something like that. They were so obnoxious. They would randomly burst into cult-like chants of random things for several minutes that would be followed by giggling and applause. They were SO LOUD. It wasn't that bad, but then came the wooing. I think they were handing out awards or something, but seriously, they all erupted into a big 'WOO' about every 30 seconds. It got so annoying. The table next to us got really peeved, and would say things like "Hey were trying to talk over here" and "Is there a door we can close?" I agreed, their 'wooing' got way out of hand. I mean, a couple 'woos' here and there are okay, but to 'woo' that much over the period of about 20 minutes is just unacceptable. I responded the only way I could, by making fun of them. They probably didn't hear me, but my brother and I started to 'woo' after minor things. For example: I would say, "I just took a bite of food!" WOO! or "These pretzels are making me thirsty" WOO! It went on and on. But still, it very bothersome to hear them 'woo.' The only thing that may have saved them was that some of the girls were cute. Anyways, that is my blog post for today. WOO!!!

Hooray for Naps!

Yay naps! They are so amazing. And refreshing. And wonderful. And cool. And awesome. Anyways, I could go on for a while discussing all of the cool adjectives that describe naps, and you probably could too. I just took a nap today, and I gotta say, no matter how tired you are, they always feel good. Even if you aren't that tired, you will wake up refreshed and revitalized. They are always good, and promote good health, good grades and a good attitude. Have you heard that a 30 minute nap each day is good for you? However, if you go over that amount you could jeopardize your sleeping patterns. Whatever. Who wants to take a 30 minute nap. I tried to once, even set an alarm, but I just hit snooze- for another hour. Naps are great. You can take on in a car, you can take one in a bar. You can have one in bed, you can have one in a shed. You can have one in a chair, you can have one anywhere!

Crocs Need to Stop

Today, as my father and I were walking graciously into Kohl's department store, I noticed an unusual lady exiting. She was wearing a bright yellow shirt (as if that wasn't bad enough) and those stupid little "Croc" sandals to match. The Crocs were bright yellow as well. She matched Crocs with her shirt; I couldn't believe my eyes, and I was almost blinded. She looked so stupid. I mean, Crocs are dumb enough in the first place, but to go out of your way to buy some to match with your outfit? Come on! The sad thing is, this isn't the first encounter I have had with a matching-Croc-person. At Disneyland, my happiness was interrupted when I saw a guy wearing turquoise Crocs, and the same color t-shirt. Wow. Just wow. The funnier thing was that the girl with him was wearing turquoise-rimmed sunglasses that matched his outfit perfectly (it added to his stupid look). I have heard that Crocs are "so comfortable" and "so cheap," but that is no excuse to wear them; they make anybody wearing them look like a fool. I don't care who you are, comfort isn't worth looking THAT bad in public. They are made of the cheapest plastic shaped into a shoe with holes in it. Even Jesus sandals (or power sandals, tourist sandals, etc. (thats another post)) don't look as bad. I mean, even if the most gorgeous woman in the world was wearing Crocs, I would be concerned. Some people say, "Oh, I don't care what people think" or "I don't care what I look like to others." Well, you better start caring, because you look like a big idiot with them on, especially if you go out of your way to match them with your outfit. So stop it.

Internet Dependency

Oh man. Today, around 8 o'clock I was trying to post my blog and my internet was out! UGH! It was so annoying, and I felt so lost. That led me to a new post topic- the general population's dependency on internet. It's funny to think that a little more than 10 years ago the internet and "surfing the web" was a far-out fantasy idea that seemed too good to be true. Now, we just can't get enough. People are constantly on Facebook, checking email, Twittering, playing games, downloading music and watching pointless funny videos on YouTube. Don't get me wrong, all those things are great (except Twitter, lolha) ; it is awesome to think that a seemingly endless wealth of knowledge is a couple clicks away. However, it is funny to notice what happens when it goes out, like I said before. People have gotten so dependent on the internet that if it doesn't work, they go berserk, like lost puppies wandering the wilderness. Think about it: if you had to go without internet for a week (in your normal everyday life) would you be able to do it? It would be tough, huh? Heck, my little brother's laptop was broken (no interwebs) for a few weeks and he about died of boredom. Kinda sad in my opinion, but fun to watch. But thanks for taking the time to read my blog ON THE INTERNET ;)

Twit Twit Twitter

Doubtless you have all heard of Twitter- not quite a blog, but not a real networking site either. To me, it seems like a website network dedicated to only posting "Facebook statuses." Apparently, it is an internet sensation and all the celebrities have a Twitter account so you can follow what they are doing 24 / 7. It'll send text messages to your phone so you are constantly updated. Come on, people. As if celebrity magazines, like People and Star, and all the other hundreds of t.v. shows, articles and websites don't give people enough celebrity news, here comes Twitter. Now you can know exactly when your favorite stars are pooping on the toilet, taking out the trash or eating breakfast. It's just stupid. I think people need to get their own lives, instead of caring about celebrities so much; they aren't that big of a deal. And do you really think the celebrities are operating their own Twitter? I mean, some, maybe even a lot of them do, but I seriously think a secretary is hired to make up the stuff they're doing for them. I guess what I'm trying to say is more of a question about society: why does the general population feel important by scrutinizing every single detail about a celebrity's life? Do people feel semi-celebrity if they know all about the latest Branjelina or JLo gossip? I hope not. Twitter is just the example of how it has gone too far- make it stop.

Concert Tickets

Hey everyone. So I just thought I would send out some words of wisdom that I have learned lately. I regret to say that I learned the hard way. Okay, so about concerts: they are so much fun! You've probably been to some with your friends and had a great time. However, I want to talk about buying the concert tickets. Just a word of advice: NEVER BUY AN ODD NUMBER OF TICKETS. It will ruin your life. I made the mistake of buying too many tickets to a concert (so I would have to sell them), but bought a total of three. Big mistake. I should have just bought four because it's really easy to get an extra friend to go to a concert if needed. I mean, come on, they are awesome. An odd number makes it so tough to sell them; near impossible. I would have had them sold months ago if I had bought either two or four, but no, I decided to buy three. I am so stupid. So, just don't make the same mistake I did; you will hate yourself for it.

Crazy Drivers

Okay so this will probably be a recurring theme amongst my posts- people that just plain suck at driving. My friends were telling me some stories today, and they were pretty outrageous, and usually involved people talking on cell phones. Which brings me to a point: stop talking on cell phones and driving!!! It's illegal people, and usually the ones who do it are so dumb that they can't drive and talk at the same time. I mean, it's not that tough to drive in the first place, and neither is talking on the cell phone. I am amazed at how incompetent people get when you put the two together. I can drive and talk on the phone perfectly safely, and so can a bunch of my friends, but the majority of people can't I suppose. It's just sad that they had to institute a law in California about it. I am of the opinion that if you are a good driver, it doesn't matter if you are on your phone or not. Texting on the other hand, is totally a different story. That is dangerous, but I digress. Just watch out for fools and big idiots who can't drive; you're bound to see them everyday of your life. And if you ever see somebody swerving in their lane, or coming to a complete stop at a GREEN light, chances are they are on their cell phone.

Live Like It's Your Last

So nothing really important happened in my life today; I pretty much just hung around my house, which reminded me of the saying, "Live every day like it is your last." Well, sometimes that's just not possible. Or maybe it is, but people plan their lives out like they have a lot of time. If today was my last day, that would suck. I mean, you're supposed to go out with a bang, right? Have a super-awesome last day and all that? Well, I hope so. But think about it, if people actually lived by the saying "Live every day like it is your last" it would be hilarious. Nobody would work at their jobs, because hey, who wants to work on your last day of living? And besides, what good is money for the future going to do for you when you won't be able to spend it? Think about it, what would you do? I have no clue what I would do. I probably wouldn't do anything. Just like today.

Phobia of the Week

So, I heard of new phobia today, and I have to say that is both ridiculous and understandable at the same time, if that makes sense. Let me explain. First off, it is called: Caligynephobia, the FEAR OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. Haha. At first, it seems totally outlandish, but if you think about it, it is quite normal-ish. I mean, beautiful women are scary, I'm not going to lie to you people. They can get whatever they want with a smile, whether it be an open door, a free drink or some money. If the smile doesn't work, I'm almost 100% sure they can get ANYTHING they want if they show a boob. I'm sure a lot of guys out there can understand, if you see a beautiful girl at a party or anywhere, you pretty much assume she can get whatever she wants. The sad thing is, you probably wouldn't mind doing anything she asks. Beautiful girls have a power over guys that is super-human; I'm not surprised that a beautiful women committee hasn't banded together to take over the world yet, because I'm pretty sure they could do it. Which brings me to another reason: pretty girls are rarely thought to be guilty of anything because "how could a beautiful girl do something wrong?" People tend to be surprised if a hot girl is found guilty of a crime, and that is scary. So watch out for all those scary and gorgeous girls out there, and don't make fun of those timid guys, because there is a clinical reason for them to be scared (sadly). Side effects of beautiful women are drooling, daydreaming, staring, fantasizing, heart-attack and bladder failure.

500 Days of Summer

I would like to do a movie review on (500) Days of Summer for my blog today. I went and saw it the other day, and I gotta say, it was amazing! There were so many different aspects of this movie that I liked. First of all, it isn't a cliche love story or romantic comedy. You know that upfront, but still, it isn't a lame fantasy movie. Similarly, it is totally plausible, and seems very realistic. One reason I believe that is because if you combine the experiences I've had with two girls in MY life, it is basically this movie. So funny. It is the movie all nice guys can relate to, as well as those still searching for the right person. Also, (500) Days of Summer is a very funny movie, with quirky characters and funny lines. Another cool thing about the movie is the way it is filmed. They have a unique style that is obvious, and even pull off a very tough split-screen scene. And lastly, I like how the story isn't completely linear, it jumps around from day to day, not all in order; it is a very cool effect. So basically, I highly recommend it, because even the soundtrack is awesome. I definitely want to see it again.

Bubble Gum

Today I would like to discuss a preposterous little thing called, "Bubble Gum Flavored Bubble Gum." To me, it seems VERY redundant. And besides, isn't gum its own flavor anyway? (I understand there are many varieties. As an avid gum chewer, I am well-versed in flavors like spearmint, peppermint, watermelon, cinnamon, etc.) I guess I just find it hilarious that so many other flavors of gum have taken over the world that they need to name one "Bubble Gum." However, any type of gum you buy is technically "bubble gum" flavored, so maybe they should just call it "Original" instead. That would make way more sense. You just can't have gum flavored gum, because all gum is gum flavored, in a manner of speaking. Chew on that for a while.

Push-Up Guy

Okay so I went to a Mexican food restaurant today (yum) and witnessed something very unusual. The particular restaurant was located in the middle of a shopping center. Anyway, when exiting the restaurant with our delicious food, we saw a man wearing tight beige shorts, sandals and a baseball cap. This guy thought it would be a good idea to perform some push-ups against the wall, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE STORES. I don't know what his deal was, because I definitely didn't notice any pretty ladies around he might be trying to impress (like an Anchorman type thing). Maybe he wanted to bulk up a bit right before his date arrived to eat at the fancy Dairy Queen right next door, I don't know. At least he wasn't fat, but that would have been funnier. But seriously, dude, who does push-ups in the middle of a shopping center at dinner time?

Band-Aids!

Okay since I talked about the horrible, disgusting 'blister' yesterday, I thought I would discuss the thing that makes every boo boo better- the band aid! I swear that there must be a secret ingredient to these things, because they seriously make all the pain go away. Just look at little kids. If they have a huge scrape on their knee they cry, cry, cry... until they get a band-aid. Once that band-aid is slapped on, they magically feel better, and the crying stops. This is a shout-out to band-aids (and kisses) because they just banish the boo boos. And nobody likes a boo boo.

Ugh! Blisters

Blisters. They hurt so bad!!! I currently have one on my thumb and one on my foot, and it is so bothersome. However, it is so satisfying to pop them. I feel like the almighty conquerer when that needle is removed from my skin, along with a flowing river of pain, puss and pressure. What a relief it is, most of the time, but it can go wrong. I think I've popped the one on my thumb 5 times, but each time it fills up with more puss- what the heck! I mean, it's not an inflatable balloon on my thumb, it's a blister. It's supposed to go away when I pop it. In the end, though, I do have to admire the blister's tenacity to blister me.

Useless Protective Covers

You have all seen them, you may use them and they are all around you. I am talking about protective covers; the ones that many people use for just about everything from iPods to cars. In some instances, they can be very helpful and necessary (like condoms), but most of the time they are just useless. I mean, the point is to keep your item clean, but if you never get to see it, then what is the point? Some people get a certain pride from over-protecting their things that is just overrated, and the sad thing is that most of these things don't need to be protected. For example: those 'car diapers' that cover the hood and front bumper of some sports cars. Sure, they keep your car from getting dirty in that particular spot, but you never get to see the actual car that's underneath; if you are never going to see it, how can you tell / care if it is getting dirty? The same thing goes for seat covers. These are even more ridiculous. Seats are made to withstand dirt and thousands of butts, so protecting them is unnecessary. Also, as you may know, many electronic devices come with protective plastic packaging when you buy them. To be honest, I left the plastic covering on my iPod for about 2 years, so the screen wouldn't get scratched. However, when I finally peeled it off, I felt so liberated and free, it was unbelievable. It was like I got a brand-new iPod, and revealed a new layer of myself at the same time. A layer that says "no" to the petty protecting of purposeless things. Just stop it.

Vespas..... Oh Please.

People in Vespas are just so cool. Especially the ones with a porn mustache and a business suit. Good job with the helmet too, dude- baby blue with a few stickers and a chin strap; it just sets the tone. I think it would be funny if someone in a Vespa had a bumper sticker that said, "My other car is a ...... car." They should just drive cars like everybody else. Or at the very least man-up and get a motorcycle. Not to be a conformist or anything, but just so they don't look so ridiculous cruising down the street. I mean, sitting with your feet on a little platform in front of you, feeling the wind in your golden locks is cool and all, but get your act together. No matter how badass you feel you are by saving money and "helping the environment," it doesn't make up for the fact that you look like a fool. Vespas are just kids amongst men of the road; it seems as though they'll get gobbled up by an SUV at any turn. So get off the road with that childish scooter of yours and play with your dolls instead.

The "At" Symbol

Okay, so I'm pretty sure all of you are familiar with the "at" symbol. You know, the one: @. If you don't know about it, you must be a pretty sheltered person, and probably wouldn't be on the internet. Anyways, I fell like it is an unnecessary short-hand version for the word "at." I mean, is "at" so tough to either type or write out that we need to abbreviate it? It's just an A with a spiral around it, and it takes the same amount of effort to do the spiral around the A than just put a T after it. And besides, what does @ have to do with "at" ? I have no idea. Seriously, if we wanted to be practical, it should stand for "around" instead of "at". Just look at the symbol, it makes sense. A little spiral AROUND the A.... duh! And "around" is a much longer word than "at" (3 times longer actually), and much worthy of an abbreviating symbol. Please people. Who thought of this craziness?

Mosh Pits and Concerts

Hey so I went to a concert about a month ago, and it was pretty awesome. However, while I was there, I thought about the concept of 'mosh pits' and what they really are. Anyways, here is a perspective someone might have on the subject:

I've realized that mosh pits are stupid; a motley assortment of anguished individuals dancing and flopping around madly to the beat. I was crammed between sweaty, stinky drunk people like a sardine, all the while pushing and shoving to maintain balance. I was under constant assault, as shoes, hats, beer and people flew through the air. A potpourri of cigarettes, weed, alcohol, puke and B.O. engulfed the crowd; I swear I must have second-hand smoked at least 7 packs of cigarettes.

Lincoln Blogs / The Maiden Blog

So I just figured out this whole "creating a blog" thing, finally. There are so many options out there it's crazy. To start out, I would like to discuss the word "blog". First of all, it just sounds plain ugly, like blah. Maybe it's synonymous with blah blah blah, because people just blah and blab all day long on their blogs. I wonder what it stands for? (if anything). What if famous people of history had blogs? Abraham Lincoln might have had one like: I hate the damn theater. However, my wife insists that I go, in order to relieve some of the stress from this terrible Civil War that has plagued our great nation. It will probably turn out to be a dreadful bore. I will accompany her regardless, and tell you all about it tomorrow...

As you may have guessed, that would have been his last one.