Candy Corn

It's Halloween time, and that means its time to break out the candy corn. Yay candy corn. Seriously though, I get tired of eating it after 3 of them or so. It's almost like I forget that I don't really like them. I would like to know when the last time candy corn was manufactured though, because it could have been made in the stone age and still taste the same. There isn't really an expiration date, so how do you know when it's bad? I think the flavor they make it in is called: Stale. Because other than that, it just tastes like sugar.

Juxtaposition

So what's with the word "juxtaposition"? I can't stand it. It's just one big, unnecessary word that essentially means the same thing as comparison. In my writing class last quarter, I swear it was used at least five times a day, as if the kids in that class wanted to sound all smart and stuff. "If you look at the juxtaposition between these characters...." UGH! I hated it. Just because you're in college doesn't mean you should go around using fancy words that sound stupid. Personally, I don't even think it made them sound smarter, because smarter people use words that can be understood and related to - otherwise people would never know they are smart; it just would sound like mumbo-jumbo (which is a cool phrase b.t. dubs). So, to sum it all up, I think 'juxtaposition' is an unnecessary english word that is proof that we have way too many words. It is definitely one that shouldn't be used, I mean, just say, "if we compare" or "the comparison between." It is exactly the same thing and doesn't sound as lame.

Grapes

Eating grapes is sometimes the biggest gamble of your life. Out of an entire bunch, there might be only a few good ones. However, it can be really difficult to notice until after you have bitten into the delectable little purple (or green) thing. I personally prefer crunchy grapes that are NOT squishy at all. Haven't really asked around, but I hope nobody likes those soggy death grapes that make you feel like you are chewing on a piece of moldy wet cardboard. I get so freaked out when I pop a grape into my mouth, bite down, and realize that it is a soggy one. I think I'll get mold poisoning or something. Grapes can be dangerous; don't swallow one too fast. However, they are absolutely perfect for tossing into the air and catching (or attempting to catch) in your mouth. They are even great to toss them to a friend, or throw at a friend, or put in a fruit salad (cuz they're a fruit) and even tacos (so I've heard). That's all I have to say about that.

Extra Ketchup

Don't you hate it when you're eating chicken nuggets (or something similar that requires ketchup) and you get down to the last couple and run out of ketchup? It's so annoying. You are then faced with quite the dilemma: do I get more ketchup for the last nugget and a half, or tough it out "sans ketchup"? You know in your heart that if you get more ketchup you will likely get too much, and waste a substantial amount. However, if you don't get more ketchup, the remaining chicken nuggets will be extra dry and make you feel like your mouth is crossing the Sahara Desert in the summertime. (okay maybe not that bad, but you get my point). Ultimately, the decision is up to you. Choose wisely.

Ja Hot Tub

Jacuzzis (otherwise known as a hot tub) are so much fun. I think the best time for them is when it is cloudy outside. It is just a perfect mix of cool and warm. Just awesome. I also find it very interesting to go in the hot tub while it is raining; that is an even wackier experience: you are in hot water, but getting pelted with cold water. Just awesome. Hot tubs are even perfect for when you are exhausted after a hard day of work, or a tough work-out or sporting game. It literally melts the stress and pain off of you (and probably even evaporates it - that's how you send your troubles to god). Maybe that's what jacuzzis really are: a subconscious method of prayer. God invented them as a way to evaporate your troubles so they rise up to him and he takes care of it. But when he is fed up with your whining, well, that is what rain is. So you really gain nothing to be in a jacuzzi while it's raining. Feels good though.

Chairs

It's really not fair for a chair to break when you sit down on it. You rely on it for support, but it just buckles under the pressure. On top of that, everyone around you thinks you are really fat, because who else would cause a perfectly good chair to break? Maybe it was just that chair's time to go. It's life was a mess, and it fell apart. You can try duct tape, you can try glue, but there really isn't anything you can do. Once a chair breaks, it is broken, and broken it will stay. As a way to get back at the chair for the humiliation it caused you (when you broke it by trying to sit down) you could chop it up into pieces and feed it to the fire; that'll show it a lesson that will be burned onto it's memory forever. If a chair has a nightmare, do you think that the lumberjack is its worst enemy? I bet they hate Paul Bunyan. Oh well. Moral of the story: don't be so fat that you sit down on a chair and break it; it will cause you embarrassment.

Cut the Bagel

Man, I hate it when I cut a bagel unevenly. It has to be one of the worst things in the world. I get all excited to eat a scrumptious bagel, bust out the knife, and then before you know it, look down to see two "halves" that are utterly pathetic. One is like 1 cm thick while the other is like 3 inches. Way to go, Kyle. It pretty much ruins the entire bagel-eating experience. I try to put the halves in the toaster, but the fatter one won't fit because I cut it so poorly, and the skinnier one gets burnt to a crisp. They probably invented it already, but it would be so cool if there was an automatic bagel slicer that cuts them perfectly in half. That way, I wouldn't have to suffer the humiliation of failing. And practice doesn't make perfect, because I have cut hundreds of bagels, but am still susceptible to the occasional mis-cut. It is likely that, or I am stupid. Either way, I feel like an idiot each time I don't cut the bagel right.

Taco Springer

Taco Bell is so good. Today I missed the bus leaving school; it literally drove away when I was in sight of it. It was so sad. However, there happened to be a Taco Bell (an on-campus one) right there. So, instead of waiting 20 minutes for the next bus, I waited in line- at Taco Bell. It almost made me forget I missed the bus (until I started writing this blog). Either way, I was glad I did miss the bus. On a separate note, Jerry Springer is a great show. Seriously. I watched it for the first time today, and I gotta tell ya, I haven't seen that much white trash in the dumpster behind a paper factory. People on that show are so wack. Examples: One guy got in a fight with his girlfriend over cigarettes so he ended up sleeping with his gf's sister. Both girls were ugly and fat. Another guy lived out of his hippy van with his girlfriend, making money with a dog grooming business. He got mad cuz his girlfriends brother kept slashing his tires (not wanting them to be together). The list goes on and on and on... So, if you ever want to feel better about yourself, eat Taco Bell and watch Jerry Springer.

RainbowSkittles

Today I had some random thoughts about rainbows in my biology class. I don't know how it came about or why, but I thought it was funny. So even if you don't think this is funny, I did, and that's all that matters I guess. (kinda selfish but whatever). Okay, so I was wondering if a rainbow were to eat a bag of Skittles, would it be considered cannibalism? What would it taste like to them? I mean, unless a rainbow has eaten another rainbow, they couldn't really validate the advertisement that says if you eat some Skittles you are "tasting the rainbow." And on another note, do you think that rainbows get offended by that advertisement? Like, maybe they see it as an attack on them, like all people should just start eating rainbows instead of following them to a pot of gold. Maybe it was a subconscious plan of the Skittles corporation to secretly get rainbows eaten away from the earth... It would be cool if it rained Skittles though (until you got hit in the head with one). Maybe that is the revenge of the rainbow.

Rain Rain.

Oh man it rained so hard today. Seriously. It was like pouring pigs and noodles, cats and dogs, rocks and boulders on my head all day. Wind blowing in sideways, upways, downways and diagonal ways. Craziness. I almost drowned standing outside waiting for the bus (for like 20 minutes bt dubs). Luckily I have spent the majority of the day inside, but then again, that is rather unlucky. It was raining so hard that all I had to do was check Facebook; everybody's status commented on the rather unruly weather. I mean, it's kinda sad when the weathermen say that there is a 100% chance of rain. I wanted them to be wrong so badly- just because they said that there was no way it wouldn't rain. But then again, there were TOTALLY right. It rained ever since I woke up at 7am. Kinda sad. Rain rain blow away. Forever.

Banana Split

I just wanna give props to whoever it was way back in time that invented the banana split. They were an amazing person. This is for the guy who said that ice cream, chocolate sauce and whipped cream weren't good enough alone, and needed one more item. And there was no other perfect item than the banana. There is something about the entire mixture that makes it heaven on your taste buds. It's just chocolatey, vanilla banana creamy goodness. Yum. On a side note, bananas seem to taste way better when mixed with ice cream (same goes for milk - bananas in milk is delish). So again, I would like to extend a warm welcome of thanks and congratulations to Mr. Split (or whatever his name is) for inventing this delicious dessert of awesomeness. It is so good it has probably stopped wars from breaking out. Seriously.

Sauce and Shirts

Today I ate some slices of pizza while wearing a plain white t-shirt. Guess what happened... NOTHING! That's right- nothing. For once in my life I didn't get sauce on my white shirt. That doesn't just go for pizza; it goes for about everything, doesn't it? Somehow, if you wear a white shirt, the food you are eating (or attempting to eat) seems to be magnetized to the shirt, and nothing can stop it. Spaghetti has to be the worst; those saucy noodles flipping and flopping dreaded tomato stain throughout the air. Those Italians and their messy food- I'll bet that if you had a clean bib after dinner in Italy you would be considered a god of manners. But if you avoid the sauce spill, it will catch up with you. I'm sure that some sort of stain will find my shirt before too long, since I avoided the pizza sauce. It's like a "Final Destination" sort of thing.

Toy Story

So I got to go see Toy Story 1 & 2 in 3D today! I basically forgot how awesome those movies are. And if you thought they were awesome before, you should see them in "Real D" or 3D. It makes you feel as if you are a toy in Andy's box of toys. I felt a deep connection with Woody, and his plight of selfishness. The funny thing about those movies is all the little comments and lines that go over kids heads. One line that I noticed (that was previously unrecognized by me) was a parody of Forrest Gump. It was in Toy Story 2, and Slinky Dog says, "I may not be a smart dog, but I know what road kill is." For those of you that don't know, it's a parody of when Forrest says, "I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is." I thought it was pretty cool. There were a few other lines, like Woody calling Buzz: Buzz Light Beer or Buzz Light Snack. I love how Pixar / Disney movies can get away with stuff like that. That's why they are the perfect family movies; everyone can enjoy them.

Frogger

So I just noticed that the website "Blogger" reminds me of Frogger, the classic street smart frog that usually gets squished crossing the street (unless you are good). He would work so hard to make it past the traffic (with cars going every which way with no lane divider- definitely not city regulations) to see some lily pads and logs. But for some odd reason, if he fell in the water, he would die. I mean, come on, Frogger is a FROG. Last I checked, frogs can swim. Heck, I am pretty damn sure they spend the majority of their lives in the stuff. Maybe if it were shark / pirana infested waters I could understand, but not a plain old river. And if you think about it, Frogger must have been pretty freakin' hungry to do all that work and risk his three lives for a fly.

9/11 Truth Kid

So I saw the "9/11 Truth Now" kid again today. He whizzed by me on his bike, with his familiar sign and swagger that just screams idiot. For those of you that don't know, he is a kid who bikes around campus with a giant sign sticking from his backpack that says, "9/11 Truth Now" as if it was a giant conspiracy. Yeah dude, the United States would destroy two of its most symbolic buildings in its most popular city, killing thousands of people and tearing apart people's lives just to make the public think about terrorism. I got news for him: terrorism is real, you dope. I'll bet the flyers he passes out say, "George Bush is dumb, down with government" or something like that. I mean, really? I could maybe understand it if this was a year or two after it happened, but it has been almost ten years; get over it, man. Not that we should forget it, we shouldn't. But there is no way it was a conspiracy. Purposefully damaging the image of your own country is not a conspiracy, it's stupid. I mean, come on, we are the United States, we don't need a reason to invade / declare war on a country- we just do it.

Liquid Nitrogen

Apparently just about everyone is fascinated by liquid nitrogen (or "dry ice" as it is commonly called). On the first day of school, two out of my four professors used it for a demonstration. I mean, it does look really cool once it has been poured onto the floor, sliding around without getting anything wet until it evaporates. And sticking something like a flower into it for a few seconds, then shattering it on the floor is awesome too. I guess it is also cool to see the water vapor rising from it, and putting some of it in a cauldron to make it look like you are brewing a nasty witches potion to turn someone into a newt. Funny thing is, I set out to prove that liquid nitrogen really isn't as cool as people think, but I changed my mind. It's awesome; I wish I had some right now.

Perfect Day

Perfect weather is the best way to lift your spirits (or mine anyways). When I was coming back from class today, around 12:30 pm, it was literally perfect outside: not too hot, not too cold, with a slight breeze and clear blue skies. It's the kind of weather you could wear jeans and a t-shirt and be comfortable, or wear shorts and a t-shirt. Basically, it was perfect. Kinda makes me wonder why I'm inside right now typing this blog instead of enjoying the fresh air... Anyways, perfect weather like that makes me so happy, along with being somewhere in the "wild" climbing a tree or hiking some trail in the woods. It is the simple things in life I guess, and people just need to slow down to enjoy them. There are few other things in life that give such pure enjoyment and happiness as a forest, river, mountain or clear blue sky. No amount of electronic device or book can ever compare. I wish people appreciated it more, rather than tearing it down to build a parking lot or freeway. I know the day will come (hopefully not in my lifetime) when forests are gone, and I pray to God that people realize it before it's too late.

Banana Freeze

Okay so I learned the hard way that you should never put bananas in the freezer. Ever. Under no circumstances. I thought I was being all safe and conservative and smart by putting them in the freezer (to save for later so they wouldn't get rotten). Little did I know that putting bananas in there speeds up the process by ten fold. Seriously, after only a few hours in the freeze, the banana peels were dark brown, and the inside frozen. Gross. After letting them thaw on the counter (which was another mistake) the inside was all mushy and liquidy. Disgusting. Basically, I had to throw them away. I wasted a bunch of bananas.

Pimp Stride

A picture is worth a thousand words... usually. This one, from Love Fest, is worth like a million. It's so epic, and I call it "Pimp Stride."

Wal Mart

Today I made my first trip to a Wal-Mart Supercenter. It was a sad day, but I had to do my grocery shopping. The whole time I was in there I could just imagine a future where Wal-Mart was the only store that existed. I mean, sure they have cheap prices (NOT the cheapest) but I don't agree they should take over the world. However, the people who are super anti Wal-Mart need to shut up. It isn't THAT bad. Some people just go too over-the-top with all of it. But think about it this way, without Wal-Mart, where would all the weird people flock to?

Learning.

Right now in class I'm learning about learning; I even have to write an essay about it. In fact, I'm writing this blog (procrastinating) instead. But back to the learning. How messed up is that? Learning about how to learn? In college? I mean, maybe in like middle school or high school it would be okay, but college? I mean, honestly, if you don't know how to learn by now you are screwed. Plus, you probably wouldn't be at a university anyways, you would be at home baking cookies with your mom (yum). The funniest part is that this assignment isn't even for a psychology class or something that might make sense- it's for a biology class. What does biology have to do with learning? Nothing, that's what. This is college- don't waste my time with crap about how I can learn better when more than half of the people there got straight A's through high school. Seriously, lady (my professor's a woman), you are preaching to the wrong choir. Sorry if that sounded mean and rant-y but it had to be said... I do like learning. Just not about learning. That is a paradoxical paradigm of perpetual poop-headed-ness. I don't even know what that means, but maybe I'll learn about it.